Hey there! If you're like most of my clients and friends, you want a loving relationship while still being your fabulous independent self.
You might be a driven woman trying to balance her career, personal growth, and committed relationships all at the same time. You deeply value your autonomy yet crave deeper connections.
Tips for balancing independence & deep connection
This dance is tricky but very worthwhile. Here are some tips to help you find balance:
Know yourself deeply -
Get super clear on your values, passions and goals.
Understanding your core self will help you remain solid in your identity and sense of self as you connect deeper in relationships.
Speak up -
Speak up about wanting personal space for hobbies, girls' nights, me-time etc. This is where knowing what you need and desire comes in.
Voice your needs early and often and you'll keep resentment from building. Resentment is the ultimate buzz kill in relationships, so don't let it get there!
Listen and compromise thoughtfully -
Actively listen to your partner, paying attention to their needs and desires. Compromise thoughtfully by taking both your needs into account.
You can do things for your partner that also bring you joy. Perhaps surprising them with their favourite takeout after a tough day. Or visiting family together even if it's not your thing.
Relationships are a dance of give and take. I like to think of it as a dance rather than a tough compromise.
Let's lean into the fluidity of relationships and find fun ways to meet each other’s needs.
Plan solo adventures -
Planning solo trips and activities along with couple's trips, is a lovely way you can maintain your sense of autonomy.
You can have dedicated time to do your own thing and also set aside intentional time to be with your partner. It’s a win-win.
Finding strength and joy in each other while still being your own person
Share new experiences together -
I’ve talked about this before. Exploring new things together is so wonderfully bonding!
Make great memories from trying new things as a couple and you’ll bond through the adventure.
The purpose behind all of this? To move away from dependence and towards interdependence.
Not losing yourself, but finding strength and joy in each other while still being your own person.
This means embracing the natural evolution of your relationship over time. I want you to be able to appreciate the steady companionship, not just the excitement of early romance.
Striving for Balance
Balance isn’t something we can set and forget.
Our needs and our relationships fluctuate, which means you need to be ready to adapt, re-negotiate and rediscover your needs.
With some care for your needs and your relationship's needs though, I believe that you can absolutely nurture intimacy and independence.
You've got this!