Happy Valentine's Day, lovely people! This day is traditionally all about celebrating love with your significant other, but what about the most important relationship of all – the one you have with yourself?
Just like Miley Cyrus sings in 'Flowers', you can buy yourself flowers! Perhaps this year you can be your own Valentine. It’s true that you deserve to feel loved and cared for. It’s also true though, that you don’t need to rely solely on a romantic partner to make you feel that way. You have the power to make yourself feel loved and cared for!
So, in the spirit of self-love and self-care, here are 5 ways to improve your relationship with yourself this Valentine's Day.
1. Practice Self-Compassion
We women in particular (but not exclusively), often have a tendency to be hard on ourselves, when actually self-compassion is key to reducing stress and increasing resilience. We could certainly use some of that right?
How about this valentines day, instead of beating yourself up, you try to treat yourself with kindness, care, and understanding. A great tip here is to look at what’s going on with curiosity. Get curious about the what and why rather than judging your feelings.
You can’t control other people and realistically they won’t always give us what we need. That’s why in my coaching, I’m such a proponent of meeting our own needs where possible. Perhaps this year, instead of relying on a partner to be your valentine, you can be your own valentine. Show yourself some love, you certainly deserve it!
2. Engage in Hobbies and Passions
Doing things you enjoy is a great way to lower your stress levels and reconnect with your desires. Whether it's painting, baking sweet treats, or kickboxing, make time for activities that bring you joy. Notice what you enjoy about the activity and how it makes you feel.
It sounds simple but it’s a great way to start improving your relationship with yourself.
3. Connect with Others
Building and maintaining strong relationships with friends, family, and support groups can also help reduce stress and increase resilience. Spending time with loved ones, connecting with others in meaningful ways, and seeking support can help you feel more connected and less stressed.
Is there someone you’ve been meaning to message for a while? Or a friend you kinda just lost touch with? Why not use the momentum of all the valentines palava to finally reach out and spread some love?
4. Find an outlet
Having some kind of outlet is so important yet often overlooked. All the stress, emotions and energy we take on throughout the day will accumulate and wear us down. You might notice you’re less resilient, acting out more, getting short with your loved ones, or that everything just feels harder.
So to not only improve your relationship with others but also with yourself, I strongly encourage you to find some kind of outlet.
Regular exercise is a great outlet for any built-up stress or emotions. Find an activity you enjoy, such as running, swimming, or yoga, and make it a part of your routine. If just the idea of doing yoga has you hiding under the covers (or reaching for that tub of Ben & Jerry’s - I see you), don’t dismiss this point. Your exercise of the day could be chasing the dog around the park or going for a long walk in nature.
Another effective outlet that I personally enjoy and use regularly, is EFT tapping. I’ll talk more about that in the next point. Tapping gives me a powerful emotional release different from exercising. I encourage you to find a modality that resonates with how your brain and body operate to ensure you get that emotional release as well.
5. Try EFT tapping
This evidence-based mind-body technique is a great way to release stress or get yourself in the best headspace for a relaxed productive day. Tapping combines cognitive interventions with the stimulation of meridian points by tapping on them.
Getting started with tapping
You can start with just 5 minutes of tapping whenever you need it - be that first thing in the morning or when you want to let go of the stresses of the day and wind down for the night. It’s wonderfully versatile and accessible.
While it might look a bit kooky at first, I’m confident you’ll get the hang of it quickly and come to enjoy it! I explain tapping in a lot more detail over on my EFT Tapping page.
Be your own best valentine
These are just a handful of ways you can improve your relationship with yourself and others by reducing stress and increasing your resilience. By implementing these 5 easy tips your cup won’t fill up quite as quickly and you’ll be an even better version of yourself.
Remember, you can be your own valentine - show yourself love and care. The more you prioritise your well-being, the better equipped you'll be to handle the challenges life throws your way.
So, there you have it – 5 ways to improve your relationship with yourself this Valentine's Day. Remember, the love and care you give yourself sets the tone for all other relationships in your life. So, go ahead and be your own valentine, you deserve it!
Happy love month! ❤️